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By Robert Scucci
| Published
If you think about it, the Jurassic Park films are a lot like The Simpsons. There was a clear golden era, and then a bunch of crap continued to come out in subsequent decades. I can quote most episodes from the early seasons verbatim without any refreshers because they’re part of my DNA, but I couldn’t ever call myself a superfan because I tapped out around Season 12, and my relationship with the show never fully recovered.
The Jurassic Park franchise feels the same. While there was an immediate falloff after the original 1993 film, it really started grinding my gears when they rebooted with 2015’s Jurassic World and followed it up with a string of equally unmemorable sequels. I saw all of them at the drive-in because my kids love dinosaurs. I honestly don’t remember a single minute of those movies because they’re a bunch of budget-bloated nothing burgers. They made billions at the box office, but I’ve never met a person in the wild who thinks any of them are better than Steven Spielberg’s 1993 classic.
My running theory is that as long as kids keep begging for dinosaur toys with the Jurassic Park and Jurassic World logos emblazoned on them, we’re going to keep getting mediocre movies. The franchise is making more money than ever, and I can only imagine how much merch they’re moving on the back end, which means they probably aren’t letting up anytime soon.
Having just taken the wife and kids to the drive-in on retro night to catch Jurassic Parkit’s clear why the first film remains undefeated. It’s a perfect movie. The animatronic dinosaurs still look better than much of the CGI slop we’re getting in the present day, and, most importantly, it’s the adventure of a lifetime where everybody does their part not only reliably, but exceptionally.
I’m Not Going To Explain The Entire Plot To Jurassic Park
Jurassic Park has been around for more than 30 years now, so I’m not going to bog you down with plot details. Instead, I’d rather talk about the one thing Jurassic Park has that none of the Jurassic World movies do: relatable, charismatic characters.
Literally every person who gets screen time in Jurassic Park chews the scenery, has something clever to say, is fully immersed in their surroundings, and every action properly escalates whatever conflict is waiting around the corner.
It’s beautiful, bordering on awe-inspiring.
What do the Jurassic World movies have aside from the willingness to remind everybody that Mercedes paid for a brand tie-in and Chris Pratt? I can’t think of any catchphrases or moments of levity that make me feel anything other than an underwhelmed, slow-simmering rage that makes me weep for the days when a movie felt like a cultural event rather than a line item on some studio executive’s spreadsheet.
In Jurassic ParkRay Arnold (Samuel L. Jackson) says “hold onto your butts” after realizing Dennis’s (Wayne Knight) computer chastises him for not saying the magic word. The reason the computer acts up is because Dennis wants to shut down Jurassic Park’s security systems so he can smuggle dinosaur embryos onto the black market for a cool million dollars.
John Hammond (Richard Attenborough) is repeatedly told by Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum) that he’s focusing on what his scientists could do rather than what they should do. Hammond’s grandchildren, Tim (Joseph Mazzello) and Lex (Ariana Richards), get caught in the middle of an ill-equipped and extremely dangerous dinosaur-themed amusement park at the exact moment lawyer Donald Gennaro (Martin Ferrero) is visiting to determine whether any of the investors should feel confident about this whole operation.
Caught in the middle of it all are our heroes, Alan Grant (Sam Neill) and Ellie Sattler (Laura Dern), who are initially thrilled by the potential of Hammond’s research but soon realize that resident cynic and chaos theory expert Ian Malcolm is right when he says “life finds a way.” His warning foreshadows the unsanctioned breeding problem that would allow the creatures inhabiting the park to quickly overrun their human counterparts.
Every moving part in Jurassic Park has a satisfying payoff. A cup of water rippling on a dashboard is the stuff of nightmares, and nobody’s safe when they go to the bathroom. The computer systems running the park are sophisticated but stretched to their limits, creating vulnerabilities. Hammond spared no expense bringing his vision to life, but Dennis ruins everything because he thinks he’s being underpaid. Every action has a consequence, and we’re drip-fed conflict after conflict with such great pacing that nothing ever feels overwhelming, yet nothing feels unresolved.
Jurassic Park Is A Perfect Movie
After watching Fallen Kingdom in 2018, my wife asked what I thought, and I responded, “That is one big pile of sh*t.” She agreed. Yet somehow, we ended up going to the other two sequels anyway. The kids were happy, but I think I actually had a better time watching The Garfield Movie.
While Jurassic Park was a big-budget blockbuster for its time, you can tell how much care went into its production that the newer films don’t have despite pumping even more money into the franchise. Everything feels lived in, from Dennis’s messy desk to the labs where scientists are toiling away on their latest affront to God through ethically questionable research.
Every personality clashes in either subtle or egregious ways, but everybody fits perfectly into their place. Alan Grant, who intimidates a little boy with a raptor claw early on, suddenly becomes a de facto father figure, which doesn’t go unnoticed by Ellie, who knows he’s good with kids but needs to figure that out for himself.
A commercial kitchen becomes the stuff of nightmares as two kids try to hide from velociraptors that would love nothing more than to eat them alive. Cars crash into trees. And Newman (say it in your Jerry Seinfeld voice) gets what’s coming to him when he gets blasted in the face by a Dilophosaurus. It’s a volatile chain of events that ultimately leads to disaster, but everything is so intentional that you can’t help but love it.
If you’re wondering whether Jurassic Park still holds up in 2026, especially after the most recent films have been incredibly underwhelming despite all the fanfare and financial success, you owe it to yourself to revisit the OG. It looks better, sounds better, and every character acts like they actually want to be there. There’s no time for moping, and all the rules are laid out plainly so we can sit back and watch a collection of vibrant personalities get thrust into an extraordinary situation that has no reasonable instruction manual.
Don’t believe me? See for yourself. As of this writing, Jurassic Park is currently streaming on Peacock, AMC+, and Philo.
